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These next quotes in red are from my soldier boy, Eric:
This one takes some setup. It is what my team leader yelled at my squad leader during OIF I when he was told to put out his cigarette on patrol. "It's daytime. There is a huge blazing Sun overhead. We are walking in the middle of a fucking field in green colored fucking body armor to a farm house in the middle of FUCKING nowhere. There is a 66,000 lb. ASSAULT VECHICLE traveling right behind us!! And you think that my FUCKING cigarette is going to give away our FUCKING position!!!!"
-Eric Lohmeier 
When we were over here for OIF I, we set up shop at a terrorist training compound in southern Baghdad. We were there for about two days when our platoon Sgt., SFC Winger comes up to us and says, "Men, we just got word that a bunch of Syrian terrorists have set up an ambush for any American forces about three miles from here. We're going to roll into the middle of it and see what they've got for us." So, we went there and saw what they had for us. It was a lot. There were bullets flying, explosions from both sides, insanity. So, there are about eight guys in the back of the Bradley, and we can't tell what is going on. All of a sudden, we hear the woosh sound of an RPG traveling quickly towards us. We all tense up, and the whole Bradley lurches forward as the rocket propelled grenade slams into the back ramp. As soon as our ears stop ringing, we hear the Grim Winger yelling at us over the radio, "DISMOUNT LEFT, DISMOUNT LEFT!!" "FUCK NO!!!" was the response of everyone in the back of the Brad.
-Eric Lohmeier
Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean an invisible monster isn't about to eat your face.
-Quote from the book "Storm Front" by Jim Butcher
Look what I can do! Look what I can do! No...stop...don't grab!
-Owen Barran
Malt O''s like oatmeal...but not as oatie.
-Lindsey Kling (my roommate at ISU)
Me: Oh man! I can't get a good solid suck on this sucker! It's got crazy designs on it!
Lindsey: Jeez Darcey...that was deep!
JDJBJ...and that's all I have to say.
-Matt Sculley
Sup witch?
-Matt Sculley to me 1-13-04
Wanna see my blinkers?
-Mike Seibert 11-21-03
Ever notice how the older you get the more country music you listen to?
-Mike Seibert 12-31-03
I'm gonna spread yo' butta!
-Mike Seibert 12-13-03
Did you say 'Freebird' to me? Here's a free bird. Sit on it.
-Michael Stipe 1-14-95
It's all about what's going on now. So fuck the person in front of you and fuck the person in back of you...cause it's all about what's going on right now!
-Michael Stipe 9-26-03 in Chicago
Did you say fuck me? I'm a little busy at the moment.
-Michael Stipe during a concert
Turn off your fucking cell phone, man!
-Michael Stipe
(St. Louis 1999)
I'm gonna go burn a goat in my closet!
-Steve at Coming Out Of The Broom Closet Day at ISU 10/8/03
(while talking about people accusing us Pagans of burning babies and small just had to be there!)
Almost all the fans I meet are pretty cool people. They're intelligent and tend to think about things a bit more than your average rock'n'roll fans: sensible people I wouldn't mind having a drink with.
-Peter Buck of R.E.M.
I'm an atheist, but if I was black I would be a Christian because I love black gospel music.
-Peter Buck

Remember civil disobedience belongs in the town hall and the home, not the concert hall, so please file out accordingly. Think about your neighbours, don't get your elbows stuck in their eyes and likewise. Don't drink and drive, wear a seatbelt at all times, don't eat meat. Above all don't worship false idols and don't forget to vote. Call your parents every weekend. Don't worry about school. It'll be okay. And if you want some friendly advice, it's gonna be a hell of a winter, so I suggest you move south. But don't come anywhere near Clarke County, because we don't want you!
-Michael Stipe (Chicago 11-4-87)
I don't fuck much with the past but I fuck plenty with the future.
-Michael Stipe
That better not be styrofoam pal!
-Michael Stipe
This next song is about everything you never wanted to know about sex...I haven't been around the block...I've only been around the side walks but I decided where the cracks should be... it's called binky the doormat we hope you like it...
-Michael Stipe
I don't take sports seriously although I like that Scottish thing where they throw the poles. I'm down with that.
-Peter Buck of R.E.M.
Just a minute while I re-invent myself
Make it up and then take it off the shelf
-Anthony Kiedis in "Midnight"
If your circle stays unbroken, then you're a lucky man 'cause it never, never, never has for me
-Ronnie James Dio
We are R.E.M. and this is what we do.
-Michael Stipe
(how he introduces the band)
It's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do.
This is your life this is your time
What if the flame won't last forever
This is your here-this is  your now
Let it be magical
-Ronnie James Dio
Get a good lawyer and if shit happens call me...'cause us bass players just need to stick together because we're the only ones that can understand eachother!
-Jimmy Bain to me 7-16-02
Sobriety is highly overrated...highly.
-Autumn Skelton
It's a fucking river boat casino! Therefore it's in the fucking river!
-Autumn Skelton

Got a good quote that should be on here? Email me tell me about it!